


Who Would Have Thought

by Sequesters



Series: Snippets of Ace Sportarobbie [1]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 10:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11355678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sequesters/pseuds/Sequesters
Summary: Robbie finds out that he and Sportacus have something in common.





	Who Would Have Thought

Dating Sportacus was almost too good to be true.

Robbie had been so very alone for so long, and from the SOUND of it, so had Sportacus, and now that they were together…neither of them could get enough of the casual contact. Holding hands, lingering shoulder touches, cuddling when they were alone together, any sort of touch from his partner sent a shiver of happiness up and down Robbie’s spine.

It had become sort of a routine, even, for Sportacus to come down into Robbie’s lair at night, just so they could cuddle some more!  Robbie would make him tea (and hot cocoa for himself), and they would both squeeze themselves into Robbie’s soft chair and just sort of…revel in their closeness. Robbie could not BELIEVE his luck, being with Sportacus just made him SO HAPPY all the time! It set his skin vibrating in the best way possible.

But then one day, Robbie realized that he would have to have The Discussion with Sportacus, and his mood absolutely tanked.

The Discussion was a common thread through all his past relationships, that boiled down to this one question: Robbie, when would you be ready to have sex?

The answer was, well…never, if he was being honest.  The fact of the matter was, Robbie Rotten was simply uninterested in having sex. Of any kind. Even with somebody he LIKED, the idea was quite unattractive to him.  So when his partner inevitably brought up the subject, Robbie would deflect for as long as possible, asking for more time to “take it slow” because he “wasn’t ready yet” but in reality…he would probably NEVER be ready.  He always thought that maybe next time would be different, because he liked touch SO MUCH, but when faced with any sort of SEXUAL contact…no, no thank you, absolutely not.  Robbie would always end up refusing their advances, over and over and over until they got frustrated, and eventually…broke up with him.

And it was a shame.  Because he REALLY, REALLY loved Sportacus. He couldn’t even REMEMBER feeling so comfortable around someone.  And a big part of him didn’t want to…HAVE that Discussion, see his crestfallen face when he realized that Robbie didn’t want to do anything physical, see him moping when that lead him to believe that Robbie didn’t really LIKE him…

But, Robbie realized, it was coming. Whenever his past partners got…HUGGY, that usually meant they would be hungering for something more soon enough.

So the next time they snuggled together in the big orange chair, Robbie couldn’t help feeling a little less…happy about it.  He let out a despondent sigh.

That Sportacus IMMEDIATELY picked up on.

“What’s wrong?”

Dammit.

“What? Nothing,” Robbie said uneasily, waving a hand.

Sportacus didn’t look convinced. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Robbie looked down at him with just his eyes. “Anything?” he found himself asking.

“Anything at all,” Sportacus confirmed, with SUCH a genuine smile that Robbie thought–maybe it could be different this time.

Maybe, just maybe…he would understand.

“Okay, Sportaflop,” he said, taking a breath to steady himself, “I’ve got a question for you.”

“What is it?”

“How do you feel about-” he choked, and cleared his throat.

Sportacus cocked his head to the side. “About what?”

“About-about um…” Robbie said, trying again.  He took another deep breath and let it out.  No kids here.  He could say it. But it still took a minute to work up the courage, face turning a darker and darker pink by the second.

“Sex?” he squeaked out, at about an octave above his usual volume.

Sportacus blinked, and raised one eyebrow. “Sex?” he repeated, sounding a bit bewildered.

“Don’t make me EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS,” Robbie pleaded, his face absolutely crimson at this point. He looked left and right. “I already feel like I’m corrupting every child in the WORLD by just SAYING THE WORD OUT LOUD.”

“Don’t worry, none of them can hear you,” Sportacus assured with a smile. “And, I  _know_  what it is. Why do you ask?”

Robbie sighed. “Just answer the question, Sportaflop.”

Sportacus’ brow furrowed, deep in thought. “I could…I would be willing to try,” he said carefully, “if you want to. Have you been wanting to?”

“NO!” Robbie said quickly, “No, no, nonono, I can ASSURE you that I do NOT want to.”

“Really?” Sportacus asked, shifting a bit so he could look up at Robbie, who was feeling quite…scrutinized, by those deep blue eyes. “Because it would be okay, you know, if you did.  You don’t have to hi-”

“NO!” Robbie interrupted, disentangling himself and jumping out of the chair so he could gesticulate freely. “I’m not- I’m not TRYING to hide anything! That’s what people have always ASSUMED, but I-I have NEVER wanted that. Ever. With ANYONE! Not you, not anybody ELSE I’ve dated, not random passers-by on the street, NO ONE!” he said, voice booming a bit. Was he being a little overdramatic? Maybe! But he was sick and tired of people believing that he secretly DID want it, and even SPORTACUS betrayed him in this way?? He looked back at the elf, who was watching him intently from the chair, gauging his reaction.

“Oh, thank GOODNESS,” Sportacus sighed, “Because I really don’t want to either.”

Robbie’s jaw dropped.

That was NOT the reaction he was expecting.

“You…you don’t?” he asked cautiously, staring back at him in disbelief. “R-really?”

Sportacus nodded. “I think…I COULD,” he conceded, “If it would make my partner happy. Every…once in a while. But as for me myself? I don’t  _want_ to.”

Robbie blinked a few times, and moved his mouth wordlessly until it started working again. “W-well,” he said finally, trying to reconcile this…new, and frankly BETTER outcome of the Discussion in his mind. “I did uh…NOT think that we had that in common.”

Sportacus smiled. “I’m very relieved that we do. But…why did you ask?”

“Because-because everyone I’ve ever been with, they all wanted to have SEX with me!” Robbie said, waving his arms around again. “And they would NEVER drop the subject! They just kept ASKING and ASKING, ‘when can we go further Robbie??’” he echoed a particularly common comment, then grabbed at his own hair. “I DON’T KNOW!!” he answered himself, dragging his hands down his face.  He didn’t meant to go into such a rant, but there was no stopping him now.

“I figured I would want to EVENTUALLY, right? Maybe I was a late bloomer, or just shy, blah blah blah whatever, but…” he dropped his hands with a sigh, “Look, I’m THIRTY years old, and I am in LOVE with you, and I STILL DON’T WANT TO!”

He broke off, panting.

“I’m so glad you brought this up, Robbie,” Sportacus said, standing up and walking over to him, taking his hand. “I had been feeling…similarly apprehensive,” he admitted, lacing their fingers together.

“Oh?” Robbie asked.

Sportacus took a deep breath. “Truth is,” he said, “I’ve never been with  _anyone_  before, and…I wondered if I was going to be ABLE to be what my partner needed, if the time came.” Sportacus touched his head to Robbie’s shoulder, as if they were slow dancing. “I’m glad I don’t have to worry about that with you,” he mumbled.

Relief coursed through Robbie as the last thread of doubt disappeared with the end of Sportacus’ sentence. Sportacus WAS just like him!

“Ugh, it’s so ANNOYING, right?” Robbie said, leaning his head against Sportacus’.  "Everyone I’ve ever known said it was part of a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE-“ he gagged briefly, ”-and that nobody would want to be with me unless I did, and that SOMEDAY I would meet th-“

"Meet the right person,” Sportacus completed, rolling his eyes, “I got that one too.”

Robbie chuckled. “Yeah, I’m sure you know what I’m-waaaaait a second, Sportacus,” he said, breaking away and pointing an accusatory finger at him, “When I asked you before, YOU just said that you’d do it! What if I had AGREED?? You-you MARTYR, you-you were about to just SUFFER in SILENCE, weren’t you!!”

“I-” Sportacus said helplessly, caught, “I didn’t want you to worry!”

“WORRY?” Robbie half-shrieked. “You can be sure I would be MORE WORRIED if I found out that you WEREN’T OKAY with something I DID!”

“That’s true,” Sportacus said, sighing and looking down, “I’m sorry.”

“You BETTER be,” Robbie grumbled, crossing his arms.

The elf was still looking at the ground. Maybe Robbie had gotten…a LITTLE carried away.

“Sportacus,” he said in a softer tone, reaching out to touch his muscled upper arm, “You know you can tell ME anything, too, right?” he asked, crouching slightly to look into Sportacus’ face.

“Yeah,” Sportacus said, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, finally looking up and locking eyes with Robbie.

Sportacus raised a hand and touched Robbie’s still-furrowed brow. Robbie’s eyebrows relaxed, and he melted into the touch. Sportacus’ fingers slid around his temple, down his cheek, pausing at the bottom of his chin. Robbie’s eyes fluttered shut and he made a whimper of contentment. He didn’t even know his face still HAD that much tension in it, but Sportacus’ touch just…wiped it all away.

“I  _like_  you,” Sportacus said softly, dropping the hand to Robbie’s shoulder. “I like…this. What we have right now, I mean. I don’t need anything more.”

Robbie smiled, gently and genuinely. “Me either,” he said, planting a kiss on his forehead and then chuckling a little.

Robbie should have KNOWN that Sportacus would defy all of his expectations.

**Author's Note:**

> this is me projecting, BIG TIME, about my own feelings about sex before I learned about the word asexual. A bit of self indulgent writing here.


End file.
